Oops, When You Realize You’re in the Wrong Place

Recently I decided to take a course through the Zen Center on Compassionate Communication. I loved the title and believed the topic was relevant to my work. I walk into the beautiful Zen Center; the quiet and serene place has a distinct feeling of being in a monastery. I enter the classroom and look around to find a group of people sitting in a circle waiting for the leader to arrive. I ask the woman to my left if this is the Compassionate Communication course and she nods her head. So I wait and I look around and I wait. The instructors come in, greet the students and lead the group in a quiet meditation. Sounds good and relaxing to me. Then they introduce themselves, talk about their background and provide an overview of the course. I’m a bit curious at this point because their introduction to the session sounds a bit different from what I had anticipated. No problem. I enjoy the calm and I’m in a relaxed mood. Next they ask the group to share the reason why they are in the session. Since there are about 35 people in the group, I figure this will kill about 40-50 minutes. So I eagerly listen to people sharing information about themselves. By the time the 15th person speaks, I begin to realize I’m in the wrong class. I start piecing together the commonalities of their stories and become convinced I’m in the wrong class. I turn to the person on my right and ask if this is the Compassionate Communication course and she shakes her head and says it’s the Transforming Depression course. Oops, I’m in the wrong place.

When we realize we are in the wrong place, that’s only the beginning. Figuring out how to get out is the next step and is not always as easy as it seems. Once I realized I needed to get out of there, I had to methodically plan my strategy. What was I going to say? When would I get up and leave? I had committed to the group by listening to their intimate stories and struggles so how could I just abandon them? How uncomfortable this was for me.

I want to relate this back to my No-Po ideas and what happens when we realize we are hanging out and selling to the wrong people? It becomes a lot harder moving away from them and navigating around them. We must be delicate, cautious and graceful when we realize we need to get out of that situation. Give this some thought and ask yourself if you are in the right place when you are selling.