Standing on the Edge

I remember weeks before my daughter was born, everyone called to remind me how my life would change. I read books about it and couldn’t imagine what it would feel like. It’s one of those huge changes that impacts your life, values and who you are.  You measure your life in terms of what came Before or what came After and in this case it would be BB or AB  which stands for ”Before Briana” or “After Briana.”

My kitchen remodel starts next week and as my sister said today, “you’ll become part the conversation in the kitchen remodel circle.” Suddenly I’m talking granite countertops and Marmoleum floors and understanding how frameless cabinets actually drive up the installation costs. I know more about circuit breakers that I ever imagined.

And I’m so close to getting either a Blackberry of iPhone, I still can’t decide and have held off for so long. My life will be radically different with this new tool. It’s silly when I write a response email and mention that I will be out the rest of the week and will have email and phone availability- isn’t that just assumed. It sounds so redundant and outdated.

And…my book. Today I met with my developmental editor to talk about a workable schedule for the rest of this year. My work and my business will be much more public and exposed. People I don’t know will decide to write a review on Amazon about my book. My business will take on a new focus and I will compare it also to the BB and AB- this time meaning “Before the Book” and “After the Book.”

When we stand on the edge of change that threatens your lifestyle and values, it can be terrifying and potentially disorienting. I want to run to the comfort zone, call my mom, eat macaroni and cheese, listen to Joni Mitchell and smell summer barbeque. We want what is familiar, easy, safe and predictable when we are facing huge changes in our lives.

And then we take that leap- we jump off the high board and never look back. Suddenly it all feels very right.