Every year I join my good friends Ann and Alan at the San Francisco International Film Festival. This year the list of movies looks very promising. I can never keep up with Ann and Alan- they are true movie buffs. They watch over 100 movies- not on NetFlix but they actually go to the movie theatre.  And we wait impatiently for Ann to publish her Movie Picks each year- she assembles a high quality list that includes Comedy, Drama, Foreign, Documentary and Thriller.

I don’t go to as many movies because I’m usually busy choreographing a movie in my mind about something.  We all have a movie playing, don’t we.  I would compare this to making assumptions as this is our way of creating something in our mind. I believe assumptions get us into trouble. Assumptions are something we think or believe or assume will happen. Remember assumptions are not fact based, they are what we want to believe.  I have lost friendships because of my assumptions and have felt betrayed, disappointed and angry all because I assumed something that wasn’t. Someone said one thing and I believed it was something more. A promise that was made was only a promise but I assumed it would lead to something else and didn’t.

In sales we assume a lot. We stop listening too fast and move into assumptive mode. Our manager invites us to assume by asking questions such as, “if this deal were to close this month, how much would you forecast it?” We have a great conversation with a prospect who really likes your product/service and explains how perfect it is for them right now and we assume they will buy. This happens a lot more than you realize.

Check things out before the movie starts running in your mind. Spend more time on the moment and less time on what it could be or what it was.

I ran into an old friend yesterday after not seeing him for a few years. The last time we spoke, he screamed and I listened. I was caught in the line of fire between him and someone else. It was unfortunatel.  I was extremely disappointed but given the circumstances, I stayed clear from any future dealings with him. I avoided going to his class and walked the opposite way when I saw him around the neighborhood. The explosive story never ended. I recreated the drama when I told friends and shared my peace with those who would listen.

When I ran into him in the chips aisle at the Andronico’s market, I acted as though nothing happened. In so many words, I chose to forgive him but will never forget what happened a few years ago.  I have this bad habit of acting overly happy, perfect and super together when I don’t feel safe around someone. I guess it’s a defense I still put up to protect myself.

In sales, we risk rejection all the time and the concept of information integration is something we don’t spend enough time on. We forget when we call someone we’ve had numerous conversations with in the past to bring up the detail. We forgive the fact they were super rude to us the last time we spoke and said they didn’t have time to talk. We forget they said they were opening up new offices in the Spring and we forgive the fact that this guy had you running in circles to organize a demo and ended up cancelling a few minutes prior.

I encourage you to bring more of yourselves to the call the same way I should have brought more of myself to my meeting with Mr. Explosive yesterday. Because…… they will never know unless we say something. 

My daughter is serious about her jeans- designer jeans that is. We visited my good friend Audrey and stayed in her house a few years ago. My daughter still remembers the time we got ready to go out to dinner and she stumbled into Audrey’s closet and became hypnotized by her demin collection.

“Mom, did you see Audrey’s closet?” She said out of breath.

“They are just jeans, Briana.” I replied.

“Mom, you don’t understand what was in there. It was a shrine of amazing jeans and not just one but multiple pairs of jeans. She had True Religion, Rock & Republic, Citizens, Antik Jeans, J Brand, Paige Premium, Lucky, Marc Jacobs.”

Maybe it’s because in the old days when I worked in the fashion industry, I worked for a jean manufacturer called Union Bay Sportswear. It was such a fun time in my career and selling demin was a great way to make a living. This little company grew over night and got their name of the map for their incredible denim.

Each season, my department store and speciality store buyers came to preview the new season’s line. Each season the designers would prep the sales reps with their latest strategies and techniques on denim treatments. The wash was different one season where they loaded jeans and washed them in with heavy rocks. The treatment was unique because they loaded jeans on the back of a truck and drove it around with the denim hanging off the back so it would have instant worn quality. The color always changed.

As you know, demin weighs a ton. When I went on the road to sell my denim, loading 50 pairs of denim would be too much, so instead of lugging my heavy line of jeans to show buyers, I just carried the pockets and thousands of dollars were spent based on pocket treatment.

We are all have a denim attachment. Some keep their jeans from high school and some wear the same jeans over and over again. Our denims define us and tell everyone more about who we are.

Great way to start my Monday morning is to read this interview with Miguel Ruiz, author of The Four Agreements. This book was published 10 years ago and it’s wisdom still applies today. We begin a new year with new promises and some of the biggest promises are the ones you can make for yourself. Here are the four agreements and how they relate to your sales life:

Agreement #1. Be impeccable with your word- In sales terms, this would best be interpreted with your level of follow-up. Whether you promise to get back to your prospect or you put something on your forecast or announce the new price changes to your customer, be honest- tell the truth.

Agreement #2. Don’t take anything personally-How can we really believe we know anyone if we hardly know ourselves. We are constantly risking and confronting rejection on a daily basis in sales and when we receive objections from the customer, we must remember that it’s not about us, it’s about them.  Take the time to ask more questions versus reacting to their defenses.

Agreement #3. Don’t make assumptions- Our listening capabilities are becoming more corrupted each day. We are surrounded with distractions and noise and the level of our listening turns into assumptions. We are so quick to jump to a conclusion, solution or story without checking it out. Ask trial closing quesitons to check out your observations.

Agreement #4. Always do your best- This is the most important agreement because it’s not enough to just try to get by. Salespeople tend to sabotage their success by getting by with the bare minimum or once they reach their numbers, they slow down and the other areas in their sales suffer. Don’t settle for being mediocre, do your best all the time.

 At holiday gatherings, I like standing under the mistletoe and waiting for a kiss. This simple ritual warms everyone’s hearts and brings romance in the air.

In sales, when we search for low-hanging fruit, it can seem like standing under the mistletoe. It is passive, we get a good feeling and we spend too much time waiting. There is nothing wrong with looking to sell low-hanging fruit but the problem is that nothing in sales is always that easy.

Closing a sale requires more skill than ever before. A salesperson must work and develop the opportunity, qualify it over and over and over and carefully listen for impact of not having the solution. They must present the solution based on the needs they identified and identify a compelling event to move the sale along. They must also become a resource for their prospect, an conduit for information and a champion in helping their prospect sell the solution internally. And when the sale actually closes, it’s a combination of luck, tenacity, motivation and very hard work.

Based on the retail results from this year’s Black Friday, I don’t think I was missed. Besides, I usually like to shop in private. The many years I spent in the fashion industry in my college days have paid off when it comes to shopping. I know exactly where to go, what to look for and when to buy it. I understand mark-down cycles and strategies and retail real estate. Black Friday is just a way to get the shopping mojo going- everyone is hungry for a shopping experience.

Today, I was hungry for a different type of experience as I spent half-day at St Anthony’s  serving up breakfast and lunch to San Francisco’s hungry and homeless. A group of volunteers gathered today to serve about 1500 meals to people who sat in line for hours on this cold November day. 

There is a language I was reminded of today, it is one of dignity and respect. It honors each person and treats them with the kindness and generosity and acceptance they deserve. I much rather be here today than on some crowded Nordstrom escalator.

My sister likes to chat on skype and a typical chat from her will look like this:

Hey sis

Are u there?

I want to ask you about coming up to the city the weekend of the 3rd, will you be around?

K and J want to come and we want to stay at your house. We can all have dinner together on Saturday night and stay until Sunday- can you hang with us? We want to try that new Japanese restaurant near your place. Maybe at 7:00pm?

What do you have going that weekend? You’ll probably be taking a few classes, how about a bike ride? We could all do a hearty ride together? Sounds, good, we’ll load the bikes up in the car- you’ll have to see J’s new bike? Have you been riding lately? Now that it gets dark early, does your bike have a good light? I’m sure you’ll be up for a ride with us.

Are you there? I’ll try you on your cell and in the meantime, look at your calendar and let me know if this date works.

I use this anology because it reminds me of salespeople who finally get a live call after dialing for hours and getting stuck in voice mail jail. Once they hear a living and breathing voice on the line- this launches them into self-selling utopia.

Have you ever sold from self-selling utopia? It’s a very comfortable, familiar and safe place to sell from. It’s comfortable because you don’t have to risk rejection, it’s familiar because you mostly do all the talking and it’s safe because if anyone is going to reject you, it will come from you first.  This is the way it works:

1. The salesperson engages the prospect with an introduction

2. Salesperson initiates discussion by asking a strong probing question that encourages the prospect to respond

3. The prospect begins to formulate their response but the salesperson interrupts by volunteering the answer and formulating another question and attaches a quick explanation of that question. 

4. The prospect is still attempting to answer the original question before tackling the latest question but gets side-swiped once again with a new question from the salesperson.

5. The prospect begins to shut down in their listening and starts to look for an easy exit.

6. The salesperson misinterprets the silence from the prospect as interest and now begins to push for an appointment.

7. The prospect is mentally exhausted and weakens their stance by accepting an appointment hoping to get the salesperson off the phone.

8. The salesperson confirms the appointment, explains what it will include, provides more information on preparing for the appointment and asks the prospect if they have any questions.

9. The prospect doesn’t even know where to begin with questions and isn’t exactly sure who this salesperson is and what their company does or how the solution can help their organization. They just want to get off the phone and feel warn out with the call.

10. The salesperson puts this appointment on the calendar and adds this prospect on their forecast that exists in self-selling utopia.  

On Saturday night, I felt so distraught with the oil spill that I went to a meeting to learn what I could do to volunteer and help. I listened to angry, disgruntled people rant about wanting to volunteer in the rescue efforts. Since I regularly paddle on the San Francisco Bay, this hit home for me.

So there I sat with a few hundred volunteers feeling angry and extremely frustrated. Our frustration was shared by all as we wanted to help but couldn’t- too many volunteers and no volunteer strategy in place. One woman in the audience said “we want to do something now” and another said “use us, we are here to help.”

As I sat and watched and listened to these heated discussions, I kept thinking about how demotivating it can be to underutilize people and their talents. We all want to make a contribution and help but when the expectations are unclear or the strategy hasn’t been designed, we feel useless, underutilized and plain frustrated. People got up to leave and walked out upset while others tried to sign petitions and others kept complaining.

Meanwhile, we’ve learned that 58,000 gallons spilled in the bay and more than 12,000 have been recovered.  511 oiled birds that have been rescued but 403 have died. A fundraiser has been announced and there’s more information on how to help.

What’s your addiction? The Wikipedia definition of addiction is a recurring compulsion to engage in some activity. Many addictions are used to avoid pain and the common addictions such as drugs, smoking, alcohol, gambling, shopping, food, workplace, internet, TV, shopping, spending, sex, rage, etc.  The compulsive behavior is usually what drives the addiction. There are also more subtle addictions existing and any behavior that attempts to control rather than learn is considered addictive.

Can you be addicted to selling? Sure, I believe there are addictive behavioral patterns to selling. Some are positive and some are not. If you are the type of salesperson who bull dozes their way into situations without much understanding and sensitivity but just wants to make a sale so they can move on to the next prospect, they be a sales addict. Or if you are the type of salesperson who makes their calls, listens to feedback, researches client needs and determines how to best align, you may have more control of your sales efforts. Pay attention to your addictive patterns that keep you from learning and accepting yourself.

It’s been 18 months and 388 blog posts since I first ventured into the blogsphere. Today, my writing life is full and my blog is my business partner, my confidante, my inspiration and my mirror. 

Why do I blog? Mainly because I love to write and communicate my thoughts, ideas and values to the world.  I like to get up close and personal with inside sales people as well as field sales, service and support teams.

Sometimes I think I’m moving very slow on a highway that is racing. Other times, I feel I’m speeding in a 25 miles per hour zone. Today I am going at exactly the right pace.

I want to dedicate this blog posting to YOU. Thanks for stopping by and reading a post or two, thanks for the time you take to read and comment, thanks for your kind words of support and most of all, thanks for being my inspiration. 

I have compiled my top 50 list of favorite blog post- here is the best of the Life in the Telebusiness Blog:

1. Setting Appointments.

2.  Get More Live Voices

3. Change up your messaging

4. Oops, when you realize you’re in the wrong place

5. When someone goes radio silent on you

6. 5 ways to set your non-negotiable time

7. The Dynamic Duo

8. Keep in shape

9. Clues we lose

10. Telestressed?

11. 8 reasons to test your phone courage

12. Email rejections

13. Changes lead to uncertainty of power

14. Listening for red flags

15. Are any No-Po’s lingering in your forecast?

16. Learning your No-Po lacks power before they do

17. Betrayed by No-Po’s?

18. I just have one more question

19. When a No-Po has to protect their turf

20. Winning coaching qualities

21. Are you avoiding being coached?

22. Sales intuition

23. The cancelled sales appointment

24. Is voice mail in or out?

25. Key words and phrases that lack influence

26. Trend talk

27. Sales training is like going into rehab

28. The first few times it’s tough and then it gets easier

29. Are salespeople happy?

30. Notes on motivation

31. Mr. Unavailable is a No-Po

32. Sales yoga

33. Tuesday conversation with a No-Po

34. You finally get the appointment, now what?

35. Let’s talk about trust

36. Different messages= different titles

37. End of quarter sales stats

38. Watch out- it’s the No-Po entourage

39. You sound busy so I’ll let you go

40. 10 tactics for engaging a gate-keeper

41. Looking for motivation in all the wrong places

42. Unavailable power

43. When was the last time you…..

44. Sales 2.0 prospecting

45. Opt-out of desperate discounting

46. The 3 C’s of social networking

47. Sales 2.0; A Report from the front lines

48. Top 7 responses impatient salespeople hate to hear

49. What’s on your wish list?

50. Why do we can people who have no power?